theleadingman | avalon: inbox

[Her head tips as she considers where she ought to move Clover. Can't keep her in Tifa's old room. It's so empty without Tifa there and admittedly, every time she walks in, her heart feels heavy and her chest grows tight. And for some of those moments that she's in there, Aerith wonders if she might cry. It would be better to move the kitten into her own room.

Maybe Clover will sleep with her. That... that would be nice.

Balthier's words hit her ears and as he presses that kiss to her temple, she feels her eyebrows knit together.]

What about Fran? You can't just leave her on her own. She hasn't been here long, Balthier.

[The question would likely seem a natural one to just about anyone who didn't understand the relationship he and his partner shared intimately— which was just about anyone and everyone outside of the two of them. He laughs briefly, a soft and almost derisive sound that he murmurs against her temple, though his amusement is genuine.]

She has not, no, and I fear she already tires of being in such close quarters with me. Sharing a flat, it turns out, is quite different from sharing a ship and living out of inns. Even knowing one another as long as we have, I think a few new quirks have come to light. Fran likes the quiet— I believe she quite enjoys the nights she gets to herself.

[It's not as though he hasn't had a fair few overnight visits that have kept him out of her hair, after all.]

Besides, spending time with you hardly means abandoning my partner.

[...There's probably more space apart on a ship than there is a flat. It doesn't sound so crazy when he's explaining that Fran might very well appreciate having her own space. His voice rumbles up against her temple and she draws in a long breath, holding it for just a few moments more before she releases it.

...She wonders... if they've talked about her. Maybe. Probably. But what has Balthier said? She can only guess. Fran is someone with whom he can truly be himself. It is very likely that he's decently honest with her. In his way, he suspects.]

What makes you think you wouldn't have issues living here with me? I'm sure you'd want your own space. The house isn't that big.

[Generous, yes. Big for one person and a kitten, yes. But he has his schematics for his airship. He will need space... She wants to give him that space.]

I want you here if that's what you want, but I'm not going to force it either. I don't want you doing it because you feel sorry for me.

Who’s to say I won’t be the troublesome one?

[For as much as he loves to lean into his leading man persona, he’s not unaware of the fact that he can be difficult at times, even surprisingly thorny on occasions if rubbed the wrong way. Perhaps he’s putting her on a bit of a pedestal, but it’s difficult to imagine ever finding himself tiring of her company— in some part because of the constant reminders this place has offered that their time is precious. Everyone’s is.]

I seem to remember touching on a few nerves when I was your patient.

[Many of those were Tifa’s, but their friendship hadn’t suffered for it. It does, in this moment, occur to him that they are suddenly discussing a very serious step forward— but he’s been plain enough with his feelings, with her and with himself. It’s not so alarming, is it?]

You sound so proud of that.

[Aerith wears a lopsided smile as she focuses on him thoughtfully. She remembers very well what it was like to have him there the time before. Different circumstances. Maybe this time will be better.

Dipping her chin, she takes a moment to consider the entire image as a whole. They’re talking about it with a fair amount of casual address, but… It’s a lot more than that. Making such a decision requires care. Moving in together…? It’s serious. Are either of them ready for such a thing? As if they were ready for any of the steps that led them to this moment.]

…You sure about this? You don’t strike me as the type to just settle down. And I know you’re just doing this because you’re probably afraid of it just being Clover and me. I don’t want you to worry.

[She may be a little sad, but… It’s nothing she won’t eventually move past.]

Shouldn't I be?

[He offers her a wink in response. Of course, it had not been his intention to get under her skin at the time, and he certainly wouldn't seek to replicate it now. There may be some growing pains— before coming to Avalon, he had not lived in a single place for any length of time since what he now considered his boyhood.]

I wouldn't have said anything at all if I weren't sure. That said, there is no need to rush it— spending more time with you needn't be an 'all or nothing' sort of deal, hm? I do have to correct you, however— it is not because I'm worried.

[It's because he wants to be with her. It's because, though he will not give it voice, their time is incredibly precious.]

[...

She supposes that Balthier is not necessarily the type to make a suggestion like that if he didn't actually want to do it. He isn't the sort to tie himself down and she's well aware of it. Questioning him on it, in hindsight, is almost a little offensive, perhaps. No one knows Balthier better than Balthier, as it were. She can second guess all she likes, but it won't change his feelings on a matter and Aerith ought to know that by now.

Somewhere inside of her, she's already known. Maybe she has to ask because that's just the way she is.

He clarifies and though he doesn't explicitly say so, she understands what he's getting at. Tifa, Red, and the others who have left have made it very clear that any time, any moment, the day they spend together could be the very last one they have. It's important that she takes that into consideration.]

I... Yeah. I know.

[She finally concedes.]

I want you to stay as long as you want to stay. If it's what you want, it's what I want, too. It won't change the past. It won't change the future. But maybe that's not what any of this is about.

[The past, the future... those things can't be changed, no matter how much they might wish otherwise. There are things he wishes he had done differently before he had come here. There are things that will come to pass, whenever she makes her way home, that he will be powerless to stop, though every fiber of his being loathes admitting so, even to himself. None of that is what this is about.

If all they have is the present, then they ought to make the most of it.

He takes one of her hands in his, giving it a careful squeeze of reassurance in response to her concession.]

I have never considered myself as having the luxury of taking my time when I see something that I want.

[Truer now than ever.]

What it is about, as far as I can see, is plain and simple. We've little left to dance around, yes?

[His lips quirk to one side, amused. Telling someone how he felt about them as openly as he's told her is unheard of, though perhaps he hasn't told her so explicitly.]

I'm rather fond of waking up next to you, besides.

[He takes her hand and for several moments, Aerith is left wordless. No reason to start forming answers to things that she doesn't necessarily have retorts for. Or maybe it's that she's said them all that she suspects saying them once more won't make a lick of difference. She doesn't want to think of it as resignation.

With care, she gently laces her fingers between his, never not for a moment mesmerised by the way they fit together. Her hands next to his so small. So much more delicate. Just like the rest of her appears to be. Balthier wields his strength in hand, she thinks. Hers is all layered beneath the soft complexities of her person.

"We've little left to dance around, yes?"

It's all true. Nothing to hide behind anymore. He knows the things about her she'd like no one else to know. She knows things about him that he'd probably like to keep to himself. Do they know everything? Probably not. Do they even need to? Also, probably not.

Looking up at him, moving emerald gaze from joined hands onto the fine statuesque sculpting of his face, Aerith smiles lightly.]

I didn't know you liked that so much. How do you know Clover isn't going to get scared at night and sleep with us? She's been doing that lately.

[Probably because Tifa isn't here anymore.]

I'll hardly begrudge her that. There's certainly room enough.

[Clover, he has already learned, will do whatever she likes, and he actually quite likes how keen she is on being close to them. He's not had much experience with pets before her, but he has quickly come to see the appeal.

He reaches to lightly brush her hair back from her face, tucking a stray lock behind her ear before lightly tipping her chin upwards with two fingers, though he already has her full attention.]

Trying to scare me off?

[He's teasing, of course.]

I'm not inclined towards second thoughts.

Of course not.

[If she were, she imagines she'd be much more creative about doing so. Probably still unsuccessful. There's not much about Aerith that's particularly frightening, after all. She can't imagine her being particularly convincing at scaring someone either.

Unless, of course, she's got a chair in her hair and is threatening one's livelihood between their thighs.

Her smile is present and light as he tips up her chin and she leaves her gaze so keenly on his.]

I know you aren't. I just had to make sure. Things are always different when you stay with someone in close quarters. Maybe I'll have habits that you don't like. Or maybe you'll have some that I don't like.

[He laughs; it’s hard to imagine anything about Aerith he wouldn’t like, but he understands that practical line of thinking full well. Even he and Fran had begun to grate on one another when enclosed within four walls; sharing a flat wasn’t quite the same as living their lives on the ship and jumping between inns as it suited their needs.]

That’s entirely possible. I’m led to believe that coming to terms with such things and learning to compromise is part of what this— [he gestures vaguely between the two of them] —sort of thing is all about, however. You may even come to find such quirks endearing over time.

[He may be a dashing leading man, but he knows full well his ability to get under the skin of others, and he has his less than desirable traits— none of which he will name aloud, but he is aware of them all the same.]

I promise to make up for them by continuing to be devastatingly handsome.

I don't actually think I'm going to find much about you that would annoy me.

[Presumptuous of her, she thinks. It's not the first time they've been in close quarters together. Of course, his extended stay at her place with Tifa had been purely because he was injured and needed time to heal. He hadn't been in a position where he could have really irritated her. Living in a place together where that was no longer part of the equation did mean things would be different.

Aerith will have to find a way to prepare herself for that.

As he continues, she returns her attention to his face and laughs.]

Oh, good. Your saving grace, is that it? At least you'll continue to be 'devastatingly handsome?'

That almost sounds like a challenge.

[He knows better, probably, than to try and test that, but she's laughing, and that's a great improvement. Much needed as well, perhaps; neither of them have been in the best of spirits, but he's largely been concerned about her. Anything that brings a smile to her face, even if only for a few moments, is more than worth whatever effort it may take.

He grins at her, that mischievous glint in his eye that she's surely seen so many times before making itself known.]

Some things must remain constant, you know. I like to think my looks are enough to inspire you to at least consider keeping me around.

[It's not conceit if it's just fact, is it?]

[The laughter helps. At points, she's wondered if she would be able to laugh again. How unfortunate it seems that things just sort of fall apart whenever they will and sometimes one isn't given the opportunity to work through it before another should follow after. At least, that's certainly how it's felt. Just meant to work through the pieces and not really sure how to press on. Not wanting to rely entirely on Balthier, but knowing he wants her to know he's there for her.

It all feels very tough. And yet here he is still. Wanting to care for her. Wanting to give her happier days. Days that surely, he must feel she deserves.]

I didn't know you worried about your looks so much. [She wears a smile, as if everything is okay. It's not okay, of course, but it's getting better and that's a start.] Being handsome isn't the whole package. I probably would have liked you no matter what you looked like. But the good looks do help. Sometimes makes me wonder if I'm a little plain next to you, actually.

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